Friday, December 9, 2011

Eyes Wide Open

Old Pine by Ben Howard on Grooveshark

I love driving before the sun comes, when the sky shows lovely pinks and purples behind silhouettes of barren trees, and the morning fog is only beginning to lift, letting the sky hang just above my head. Heaven never seemed so close...


As of late, I've been feeling as if eternity is closing in on me, while expanding too inside, encircling without, and enlargening within.

Through the lulls I am graced with these seconds that feel like a little bit of heaven right before me, hedging me in, on every side, this eternity, and infiniteness coming to beckon me away from the meaningless of meaningless, a brush against my face from the hand of my Creator. The seconds of my day may go on fleeting, sure, but I'm increasingly more aware that these short moments have been purposed since forever, and on. He has set eternity in the hearts of men, says Ecclesiastes. And I've been leaning into these moments. These gifts. Looking and seeing.

These seconds look like this:

One morning, as I made my way to work, I pulled into a parking space, paused, and sat in my car for 30 seconds more than intended to, just because. And then, my eyes beheld a small, but bright, deep red against the blunt colors of winter. It was a winter cardinal fluttering about in the smallest wedge found between the bushes. Right in front of me. Only for my eyes to enjoy. Only for me. Time stood still in that moment.

Another second looked like:

End of the day. Around the bend of the sidewalk, I am walking a little one to his bus after school, and then: a squeeze of his hand into mine. Do you know what that did to me? It was like gripping the hem of Jesus's cloak-- a gesture of healing for me, as if something so kind slipped into my heart and spoke words so divine, so personal... words so good I must keep to myself, to preserve their sacredness.

And so, I am looking.

On a similar note, it's the first full week of December-- December, the last month of the year, the culmination of things past. And then, it is also Advent. A time of looking to the coming Christ, both in remembrance of, and also in the present longing that is before us, oh the coming King, I am looking for You, with eyes wide open, I am looking.


To everything there is a season,
a time for every purpose under heaven....

What profit has the worker from that in which he labors? I have seen the God-given task with which the sons of men are to be occupied. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no once can fathom the work that God does from beginning to end. | Ecclesiastes 3:1,9-11

5 comments:

  1. Your writing reminds me of how I used to write. Greatness. I enjoyed it.

    Followed the blog, hope you don't mind. And maybe you'll visit me someday.


    thebookness.blogspot.com

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  2. Your writings are so lovely. Thank you Michelle.

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  3. I just caught up on your last 3 posts. I'm thankful to be part of your little world and look forward to hearing and seeing what you build with your words. You are LOVED

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  4. Hello lovely girl, thank you for the kind comments on my blog. I just had a read of this post, and it's wonderful - your writing is light and floaty. It makes me want to get up in the mornings and savor everything.

    In response to your questions - I don't know what's leading me anywhere. I guess, I want to go everywhere, it's just a matter of where I go first. Asia was a natural choice because it's affordable and near to my home: New Zealand. I suppose coming to the Czech Republic was sort of because of a boy, although it's not about him anymore - and sort of because of a love affair I'd developed with Prague from browsing google images of it.

    And what do I do? Well, I worked and saved for a long time and lived off savings mostly. A dollar goes a long way in Asia, now I'm au pairing in Europe to fund my weekend travels. My savings are fairly depleted and I'm looking at my options for the next stage - maybe teaching English somewhere, maybe au pairing a little longer, and I'm also looking to develop some websites to, hopefully, create some passive income. We'll see. I have no idea where I'll be in six months, let alone a year, and it's a liberating feeling. If I have one piece of advice for you - it is to travel, I wish I'd done it sooner.

    Sometimes I get caught up in the scariness of not having a plan, but then I read this quote:

    "I took the one less traveled by,
    And that has made all the difference."

    Happy New Year

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  5. Lovely double-exposures, and inspiring words as well. As troublesome as I have felt lately, these thoughts and posts bring a sense of peace that I enjoy.

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