please press play.

"the new day dawns

and i am practicing my purpose once again

it is fresh and it is fruitful if i win but if i lose

oh i don't know

i will be tired but i will turn and i will go

only guessing 'til i get there then i'll know

oh i will know

all the children walking home past the factories

could see the light that's shining in my window as i write this song to you

all the cars running fast along the interstate

can feel the love that radiates

illuminating what i know is true

all will be well

even after all the promises you've broken to yourself

all will be well

you can ask me how but only time will tell

...keep it up and don't give up

and chase your dreams and you will find

all in time"

-All Will Be Well | Gabe Dixon Band

I woke up before the sun this morning and biked through gusts of wind and cold for almost an hour, inviting the Father of Lights to come shine on little me. Oh Amen and Amen, come closer still.

I decidedly took this bike ride for more reasons besides my inability to sleep in past six o'clock a.m. this morning. (and this may turn into a ritual. because yes, it was so good for my soul. my red stinging ears might tell you otherwise, but that is why ear muffs maybe on my shopping list this month)

Two days ago I found my head drawn into the toilet seat, mouth hanging open, throwing up chinese take-out my sister and I ate earlier. I don't know whether this may have been a result of a stomach bug, or if it was due to the weight of emotions I was bearing that day, but whatever it was, I felt horrible.

But this morning, despite a hard week, a smile is drawn on my face. gratitude. I feel grateful. Beyond my words, so very thankful. I feel aglow, the Lord is inexplicably good. I feel both a peace and an excitement amidst all the uncertainties of my life presently. And I don't know how, or when, but biking this morning did something to me that released me into that somehow. Maybe it was the fact that everyone was still in slumber when I tip-toed out of my garage, or the fact that I rode streets with absent cars, or the fact I could hear the roar of the wind flickering falling leaves all about. "All creation groans," and there I was joining with it. Maybe it was because while biking, I was "practicing my purpose once again," of simply being and breathing with Him, of coming into myself by leaning into my God. Maybe it was because I felt more present and fully awake to the things the Lord is calling me to. Maybe it was because I was understanding more profoundly the words of Paul when he says, "For this light and momentary affliction, is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison."

An eternal weight of glory. of glory. of wonder, of marvel, of beauty, of all that is good. Don't you love the juxtaposition Paul just used? Light affliction, weight of glory. Today I feel this weight shifting and moving all about in my soul. I have become keenly aware of the Lord's work in me, being transformed in His likeness, learning His ways, seeing more clearly, but still so dimly, His plans for my life.

So here I am, stretching out my open hands for the Good Lord to gift me with raisin cakes of grace. So that this grace can sustain me in the fight to live my life worthy of the One who has called me into His marvelous light. Again, I shall pray, Father of Lights, set Your face to shine upon me.

All will be well

You can ask me how but only time will tell.