Sometimes I get down.

A very long time ago, sometime when I was only a kid, I realized that angry people like to make other people angry, and that hurt people like to hurt people. I'm not exactly sure when this idea began to penetrate past my brainbox and pervade my way of handling conflict, but I think it changed me. For the good or for the worse, I do not know.

Most of you reading this (if you actually do) will wonder what is prompting this post, and will assume that today I am particularly down. And I'll admit it. I am feeling a bit down this morning... being twenty-two, with a bachelor's degree, living in the same house as your parents, and attempting to live a more adult life is... frustrating.

When I find the t-shirt I'm wearing wet with tears falling from my cheek, when I'm venting to a friend about my sadness, when I give myself a moment... it feels good. I often like to stay in that place because I am feeling some kind of intensity that ironically lets me feel more alive. I feel closer to my Jesus. Is that strange?

There is a 'however' though! However. instead of wallowing where my sorrows lie, I decided something different.

Instead of putting my energies on feeling disheartened about what I cannot do, I am doing what I can. What I can do is free myself to do the things that bring me joy.

I will dance when no one is looking.

bike. and bike father than I thought I could.

read a story.

build callouses on my finger tips from holding guitar strings.

sing as loud as I can with no worry of being heard.

write.

make something delicious.

listen to my Jesus when He speaks, or try to.

I will be capable of having joy.

and be free to love my enemies.

If I can't have my cake and eat it, I'll have nutella, and strawberries, sandwiched between a slice of sweet oat grain bread. And I shall eat it, and it will be good.